The Man With Elastic Legs

“Football is a simple game. Twenty-two men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans always win.”

Gary Lineker

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So the old enemies faced off again last night, and for the sixth time in a row, Germany beat England at Wembley. Memories of Gazza’s tears, Euro 96, that Hamman goal in 1999, and Frank Lampard’s ghost goal in Bloemfontein come flooding back whenever the concept of this rivalry come up.

Last night England didn’t capitulate like in South Africa they actually played well in parts, but it’s time England started realising that they are not as bad as everyone would have you believe. The nation may not be blessed with an array of stars like countries like Brazil, Germany, and Spain. But we do have a couple of very good star players who can make a real difference, in the right system. Sometimes football is about being more than the sum of your parts, sometimes it’s about making use of the talent that is actually available to you. Roy Hodgson seems determined to do neither. Whenever the England squad is announced, there are always cries of Hodgson only picks players because of who they play for, whilst this isn’t strictly true across the board, it does at least have some element of truth to it.

If you ask any football fan across the country which of the top teams has the weakest midfield, and without a shadow of a doubt they will say Manchester United. Even United fans are decrying their dearth of midfield talent. In my opinion, one of Alex Ferguson’s biggest failures was his inability to address this issue over the last 18 months, repeatedly dragging poor old Paul Scholes out of retirement, and having to rely on an ancient (albeit still supremely talented) Ryan Giggs. Now considering how weak the Manchester United midfield is, you may be forgiven for wondering why a player who can’t even get a regular start at United is being picked as a starter in midfield for England. Even in a relatively meaningless friendly. Tom Cleverly is clearly being picked for who he plays for rather than how well he plays. Were he playing for Southampton, would the press be calling for his inclusion like they are with Lallana and Lambert? Cleverly offered nothing to the side last night, and I can’t say I recall him ever offering anything in an England or United shirt. So why not start Ross Barkley, a positive and creative midfielder who has had a great start to the season at Everton? If Hodgson wanted a defensive edge to his midfield where was Gareth Barry? Another player having a very big impact at Everton.

One position England do have a dearth of options is up front. Wayne Rooney is easily England’s best striker, but he seems to work better with a partner than as a lone front man. Daniel Sturridge is banging them in for fun at Liverpool alongside the supremely talented Luis “Hannibal” Suarez. So surely he is the perfect fit.

No.

Sturridge’s game seemed to be consumed by greed last night, and this always seems to be the case when playing for England, the guy clearly has a massive ego. And it’s my belief that he wants to be “the big I am” for England. Now there is nothing wrong with a striker being desperate to score goals, far from it. But there is something wrong with a player being so greedy that he doesn’t see the play developing around him. On several occasions Sturridge would drop deep to help the midfield or the seemingly triple marked Andros Townsend on the wing. Whilst this is admirable, surely he should have been taking advantage of the space created by such defensive marking and allowing Kyle Walker and Steven Gerrard to be the ones to help Townsend on the wing?

But beyond his greed and ego, my biggest problem with Daniel Sturridge is his ball control. The man seems unable to control even the most sublime through ball, time and time again he fluffed his lines last night when presented with a perfectly serviceable pass. Or worse yet getting to the byline and suddenly being possessed by the spirit of Steve McQueen and trying to take on the entire German defence single-handedly. Whenever in possession for England he looks like a stretch Armstrong doll being flung at a ping-pong ball his legs and arms flailing everywhere. If the question is who should partner Wayne Rooney up front, the answer most certainly isn’t the man with the elastic legs.

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